Sexuality is not only a very delicate subject, it is a serious and fundamental subject of human life needing deep understanding, knowledge, constant care and attention. Sexuality is a power which influences everybody’s life in a very profound way. It affects our moods, our sense of wellbeing, our health and our relationships. It creates a lot of tension, unhappiness and tragedy. On the other hand sexuality is the great energy which can heal and enrich our life leading to personal growth, understanding the meaning of life and opening a deeper humanity within the soul. Everybody is born tantric – innocent, kind, loving, gentle, trusting and giving. It always lives in us. We all want to love and to be loved.
Working with sexual issues for years I realise how little people know about the energy which is generated by arousal. Men still do not understand women and vice-versa. Treating sexuality in a healthy and meaningful way takes the right understanding of its nature and mechanism. Tantra teaches relaxing into sex energy rather than putting pressure on it. This way sexual energy touches our spirit and brings to us inner peace and harmony.
The Taoists have written and taught on the subject of sexual energy for the last five thousand years. They used sexual practice for healing. They developed knowledge about how to increase the power of sexual energy, channel it through the body to heal or prevent illness, to relieve stresses and to create a life long lasting loving connection with your partner.
Tantric Sex is for everyone who wants to share his or her loving energy with another person through touch. Tantric Sex is a great healer. It effectively helps with sexual problems. It improves overall health and prolongs youth. People should practise Tantric Sex until the last day of their lives. They are able to make love at any age and in any condition of health. Even the poor in health and the elderly should practise tantric lovemaking because to do so makes them happier and recharges their bodies with life energy.
Tantric Sex is true intimacy, which is not the same as sex. It is a much deeper understanding of lovemaking, which enriches our souls with love for each other and for the whole universe. Living in tantric union makes the relationship of a man and a woman unbreakable.
Life is based on sexuality. Tantric Sex frees us from stresses, frustration and tiredness, brings a positive attitude to everything and gives the highest possible pleasure which “ordinary sex”, that is non-tantric sex, can never give. Men and woman need knowledge of Tantric Sex. If everyone was born out of Tantric Sex and grew up with parents who practiced Tantric Sex the world would be full of happy people, it would save the world from aggression, sexual violence and abuse. Tantric attitude to sexuality can really change the world for the better.
Tantra and Tao
The word “Tantra” means “expansion”, “waving”, “awareness”. If compared with the word “Tao”, which means “The way”, both teachings are about similar things. These things are : freedom, liberation, expression and experience. Tantra presents the method of how to get into the state of being when one feels free to be who one really is.
We all live in the world of desires. Everything around is designed to maintain the system which we call the country. Everything is on sale, to create wealth of the country, political and economical stability. We often become victims of our desires, we are influenced by advertising. Then we get out of balance and start to have problems. To find the right balance, to feel it clearly, to live in a sense of balance all the time, this is what Tantra is about: the way of life, when desires are not “burning out” your energy. Tantra is a way of life, when you expand your vision to enjoy existence with gratitude and acceptance, when you wave into the world kind, beautiful, loving energy, and when you share with others these powerful energies without disturbance but with intention to help.
Tantra and TAO principles are: gratitude, acceptance, kindness, love, sharing.
To live life by these principles seems like sacrificing something exciting, funny, spontaneous, passionate. This is not true. To live in Tantra is opposite. It is easy. It is natural. It is free. It is like living always in a mood of watching the film. If film is exciting, passionate, funny – get excited, laugh, express passion. When film is sad, painful, upsetting – do not turn your eyes away, watch it too, live through it with gratitude, acceptance, kindness, love and sharing with others. It does not mean that you have no choice and are not free to change the “film” and to watch a different one. But everything in this universe is a matter of time. Life is a river. You cannot turn the direction of the river in a second. But you can turn it… in time! If you do everything with gratitude, acceptance, kindness and love you are able to “turn any river” and “watch the film you like”.
“The quicker way is the slow way” – one said a long time ago. And another rule is: “As within so without”. Tantra is a way to transform the world around you via transformation of yourself. The same principles could be applied to relationship and sex.
Life is a moment, happiness is within, though connection with others has a dramatic influence on that happiness. If we connect to others and radiate love, respect, care and gentility from our side to psycho-physical bodies (PPB) of others we will create the state of harmony and happiness for both. But others often try to put us in brackets, restrict our freedom of our expression or to transmit to our PPB ideas or energies we do not want. It upsets our state of harmony and happiness. Our happiness is radiation of energy into universe. So, what we radiate is our responsibility. We should not blame others for trying to influence us because it is natural for human being to try to possess something he or she likes or loves. But our own responsibility is to protect our identity and our PPB from that influence. Very often people follow cliché of what relationship is about and how to relate. They demand things which they call responsibility, devotion, honesty, faithfulness when they actually use, abuse and control other people’s lives and energies. And they never enjoy the moment! So they are never really happy! They miss all the beauty and all the magic! And of course they never create that magic! They wait when it will come to them from the…nowhere…
If we always create our connection to others in a beautiful way, just like we create music, listening attentively every sound of it, expressing everything we feel and think honestly and openly, bad or good, and reacting back not in a form of opposition but in a form of synchronisation we always can have a beautiful relationship.
Every relationship when it becomes tantric will last forever.
What is the defference between Tantric Sex and simply sex?
What is the difference between Tantric sex and “ordinary” mainstream sexual practices, described in popular manuals on “great sex”, “mind-blowing sex”, “hot sex”, or between any advise you can get from traditional sex coaches, doctors, psychotherapists or sex therapists?
The main difference is attitude to orgasm. Everybody around is concerned about orgasm, about that pick after which you feel sleepy, tired or just empty, but you still want it and all around you is saying: ” You have to have it!”
Orgasm is desire. Desire never gives you the sense of balance. As soon as you have a new car, you want a newer one, as soon as you bought a beautiful dress you like another one.
Such with the orgasm. As soon as you come you want it again. But you can’t! And this is sad for you. Your body, only your body, which does not understand emotions but only has reactions and reflexes, tells you to stop your desire for the moment to give it chance to recover. So whether you have orgasm or not, deep down you are always sad, if not strait away, but in 5 minutes. Or you become physically cold, not sensual, like being empty. You do not have any more all those emotions which inspired you to lovemaking. IT IS TRUE! YOUR LOVE TO YOUR PARTNER AFTER YOU HAD ORGASM IS MORE LOGICAL, MORE IN THE HEAD RATHER THAN IN THE HEART.
Tantric sex is not against orgasm, but Tantric sex is not about orgasm, Tantric sex is not about any desire at all. Tantric sex is a way, road, you walk slowly, peacefully, connecting to another person emotionally, physically behaving softly, carefully, gently.
It is like walking through the forest on a sunny day. Birds singing…butterflies fluttering around…flowers’ smell makes the head light…blue sky popping through green leaves…What is the point to run if you were going to enjoy the forest. Your partner is this “forest”. If you “run” to chase orgasm and when you had it it’s similar to be like a hunter using the forest (your partner’s body) for his small selfish aim, sometimes even being cruel to it. Sorry my being strong in expression but as a woman I personally was many times emotionally and physically hurt by “mad” and uncontrolled actions towards my body when the man I had a relationship with at the time was “on the way” to his orgasm. On another hand when I felt the same desire to come I clearly understood that at that particularly moment I did not feel in my heart gratitude, acceptance, kindness, love, care of yourself and others. My body was taken over me. My partner disappeared. My instinct became a boss and after it got me to come I felt nothing but tiredness, sleepy mood and no wish to make love for several days after. No wonder, I have been running!
But, you do not need to sacrifice anything in Tantric sex. Let’s go to the forest again. In the first case, in chasing the “prey”, you have missed the whole beauty of the forest. If you walk through it slowly with gratitude, acceptance, kindness, love, care of yourself and others in your heart your body would become relaxed, still, obedient to your control over it. Orgasm is a peak. So “the forest” can lead to the “mountain”. Go there! But again slowly, with gratitude, acceptance, kindness, love, sharing. You will start to rise, up and up, to the “mountain”, but do not run, enjoy the beauty of the “view”, keep connected to your partner, remember it is your partner who is “the forest”, “the view” and “the mountain”, enjoy his/her energy, his/her love, trust and devotion to you. Watch it! Watch it with gratitude, acceptance, kindness, love, sharing. Then, when you reach the peak you partner will reach the peak too, at the same time, like your other half, like part of you, like the whole you.
Tantric sex is the art, like music or dancing. Your aim is not to come to the end of dance or to hear the last chord of the song. The song is beautiful, note by note, and dance is enjoyable, step by step. Look, there are all sorts of different elements involved : sound, words, movements… Also, it nice to try to become a song writer or a choreographer and then you would appreciate the process of creating piece of music or dance as well as the final result. Such is tantric orgasm. During this state many waves of sweet vibrations reach through the body to the brain and create sense of peace, harmony and fulfillment in expressing love and connection to other person.
We can easily understand the description, but this is only logically. Lots of books give techniques on how to master your sex life into Tantric sex. But, body does not understand logic or words. Body has only physical memory, reflexes, which could be developed or changed only physically. Every human body is completely different when it comes to reflexes for sexual pleasure, especially the female body.
My work is to show you the way to develop your physique along with understanding Tantra in general. If you start to go down this road there would be much more chances of finding real happiness and fulfillment.